Remembering my Brother-in-law Dr.Krishnakumar

 

The call from my sister-in-law, Geeta at 4.28 a.m on 25th Jan 2025 was brief and worrisome. "Come now, Krishnakumar has had a cardiac arrest and we are taking him to the hospital." My mind went blank and all I could think of was : How? Why? Can't be!

I'd heard about KK from my wife, Sheila while I was getting to know her during our stint at TCS, sometime in the early 1990s. Heard tales about how KK as a student leader had gheraoed one particular senior doctor (Kuthiravattom Mental Hospital administration) to address injustice to mental patients at the hospital. This particular doctor was later to become family when he married Geeta. How he missed his newborn son, Akshay and his wife, Geeta, while pursuing his Masters in Chennai and was somehow persuaded to not drop out of the course. And about his  parents and particularly, his mother who was a rock to the family,a Teacher in her own right and who didn't hesitate to help the needy in and around Kodolipuram.

When I met KK just before I was due to get married in '96, his smile disarmed me and he empathised and supported me straightaway, given that I was going against my own family to get married. In fact KK's affable demeanour and his approachability  touched everyone who ever came in contact with him.

KK preferred to remain silent and non intrusive in any situation, be it the raucous year-end family get-togethers or in intense family discussions. When he did  choose to speak or make his point, it was never run-of-the-mill but clear and succinct. His viewpoint would always be a studied summarization without taking any pole positions.

We had one definite thing in common. We were both hardcore vegetarians and would often find ourselves shuffled to a corner of the table during lunches & dinners as we were the only vegetarians in the family. He loved his home-grown papayas, guavas and mangoes. Whenever he had visitors he would go cut all available fruit and pass the fruit around with a smile. I don't recall him 'feasting' ever and he would be perfectly fine with a chappathi or two with Dal or some curries. He would eat up his food in probably five to ten minutes and was done. He always preferred making dosas/appams at home rather than eating out and would excuse himself out of some of the family dine outs.

In the days after his passing, the real impact of his work has come to the fore. Patients, doctors, colleagues, neighbours, ordinary folk, media persons amongst scores of others would have some anecdote of how KK touched their lives. There was someone who came from afar and returned money that KK had apparently given in some time of need, ages ago. 

I remember an old incident when Government Doctors like him were permitted to consult privately. He had an 8 or 9 year old boy patient who was restless and disinterested in going to school. When the mother brought the boy to KK's home clinic, the boy started to run around the house much to his mother's chagrin. KK remained unperturbed and allowed the boy to wander around the house freely. At some point, he beckoned to the boy, put his arm around him and started talking to the boy.  Soon enough, the kid stopped being restless and listened to KK. Later, KK surmised that the issue as not a worrisome health issue. He went into the essence of why the boy was disinterested in school and found that he was being bullied at school and that the family was unable to support the kid with his school syllabus. He had some very simple suggestions (not medicines) for the family and a lot of encouragement for the boy. 

There are countless such stories as to how he approached children, looked at the root cause, worked on elimination of the same, shared his knowhow and worked with the communities during various camp visits. Of notable mention is his (& Geeta's) association with the Prashanthi School for Children with Special needs (which is founded by Dr.Ramakrishnan) where he contributed as an Advisor. It is truly a remarkable institution that caters not just to the education of children with special needs but also to their employability. I still remember the time, KK took me there many years ago. Was truly humbling.

His home is adorned with countless trophies, mementos, photographs and lots of curios (bags, handicraft items and many others). They barely mattered to him. It was routine for him to share, to be empathetic and more importantly, to be genuine. I don't think I have ever seen or heard him come up with an annoyed answer to ward off pesky spam callers, much unlike what I perhaps do. He was always available to talk to, to share opinions in the press, have discussions over Zoom calls and the like. He was a regular contributor to the local newspaper on various health topics. 

His passion for learning and acquiring knowledge was unparalleled. He devoured books - fictional or otherwise. Whenever we visited Calicut, getting him books was our routine. Sometimes, we used to get books about the Human Brain and other seemingly technical ones which he dismissed as being dramatic and less factual :-) He politely advised me to not get those kind of books. When Amazon Kindle was popular, he used to read voraciously and that used to be his daily evening routine or during commute. My wife, Sheila and KK were a book exchanging duo, given their similar trait of reading books. On one of my visits he proudly showed me the neat set of custom cupboards done up at his Thondayad home. He'd neatly lined up rows and rows of books of all genres. And surely all of them were read and not just bought and put up for display. When he visited Prague, he was so invested in knowing and visiting the home of Kafka and soaking it in. The other sources of keeping himself updated were the Cable TV News channels and debates, besides newspapers.

Covid had its effects on KK. Particularly considering that he & Geeta were going to the Hospital on all workdays unlike the work from home routine that most of us were following. Once Covid hit KK, his movements were severely affected and it took a very long time for him to even walk up & down the stairs. It was difficult to see him go through that phase. He also had this lowered resistance to common cold & flu. My last recollection of this was just before the New Year of 2025. He preferred to stay at home and only dropped by at the family gathering for dinner before returning home to rest. With the family dog, Jax the benevolent labrador for company. 

Jax, my Sister-in-law's family dog was very fond of KK. Jax always greeted KK enthusiastically and many a time would jump on him affectionately and try to wrestle him to the ground. KK shed his reservations and was always seen petting Jax. At times, he had to be rescued from an over enthusiastic Jax who threatened to knock KK down.

KK loved travelling and the ritual was on the calendar particularly whenever his son, Akshay visited from the US. Conferences took him place and he attended a few international ones as well. He loved researching and learning about all these places and had several anecdotes to share with us. 

Krishnakumar's lasting legacy for Kerala and for India at large is his beloved Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (IMHANS) at Calicut. He quietly moved against lobbying from Thiruvananthapuram and made a compelling case with the Central Health Minister to uphold the original allotment of central funds for IMHANS at Calicut. He had a clear vision of what the Centre of Excellence should be and his no-nonsense and professional reputation finally tilted the scales in favour of Calicut. When the decision was taken to set up IMHANS at Calicut there was no chest thumping or jingoistic celebrations. Instead, Krishnakumar was totally invested in planning the building and setting up the Institute. He immersed himself in not just the construction but also the curriculum, recruitment, procurement and everything else. He made countless trips to the seat of the Government reporting progress, pushing for allocations, approvals and other logistical elements. IMHANS became operational in 2013 and KK remained as Director till his formal retirement in May 2023 though he rejoined IMHANS as Director a few months later. When he rejoined IMHANS, Krishnakumar ploughed his remuneration back into the Institute as there was always a paucity of funds for the various outreach programmes.

KK always liked to share anecdotes about IMHANS. As this was some kind of a greenfield institute with little precedence, he had to come up with a fair way of recruiting professionals and staff. There was a lot of pressure to accept 'recommendations' during the recruitment process. Krishnakumar simply created an aptitude test and put out the word that anyone who cracked the test would be considered as eligible for recruitment. This did the trick as nominations and recommendations stopped and KK was able to ensure merit driven  recruitment for IMHANS. 

I am an IT professional and one day KK made an unusually timed call to me during my working hours. KK always made sure he called me well after office hours. But this call was different. He was calling to enquire about specs for computers that needed to be procured and he wanted me to explain some tech specs to his procurement person before the tender went out. KK felt accountable for every Rupee that was invested and made sure that the facility was built to plan and did not overrun budgets.

I'm not sure if he was even entitled to an official Car being the Institute's Director. For the longest time, he hopped on to buses and rickshaws on his commute to and from the Institute. 

What we witnessed when we took KK's mortal remains to IMHANS for one last time is unforgettable and indescribable. The grief was immense, raw, heartfelt and overwhelming. To see his loyal band of staff struggle to hold back emotion and silently pay their respects was in itself cathartic. Dead silence punctuated by stifled sobs and the muffled shuffling of feet as, one by one, the staff offered flowers to their dear KK Sir. I was struck by just how much his staff had valued and respected him, and how deep their grief ran.

KK was the family doctor. He monitored my health parameters all these years and particularly when I got injured playing sport or otherwise. I still recall when he tested an electronic stethoscope on me and my pulse rate showed up at around 48 bpm. Krishnakumar was unsure if the contraption faulty and switched to the traditional one to verify the reading. This was during my prime sporting days when I actively playing Cricket & Hockey. KK was amazed!

One of the last such health interventions was in November & December of 2024 when I finally decided to heed Krishnakumar's longstanding advise and get my varicose veins surgically removed. He took time off and came with me for the prechecks, scans and specialist consultations. KK became my guardian and lead me from to one hospital desk to the other till the surgery was scheduled for December 2024.

Come December and on the day of the surgery,  I wafted into the hospital by myself. The hospital refused to check me in as they insisted that an attendant be present. KK arrived at the right moment and saved the day for me. 

After the surgery, my wife was having second thoughts about spending the night in the hospital room. KK just said "put a sheet here on the floor and sleep". That was it without a second thought. This was sufficient for him and he could not quite understand what the fuss was about. 

I retured to Calicut for a review about month after my surgery. KK had planned to take a half day off to accompany me for the checkup. However, the hospital rescheduled the appointment at the last minute and I went for the checkup by myself. That evening we visited KK and Geeta at Thondayad for dinner. There he was reclining on the sofa as usual. When the time came for us to leave, he looked at me and said "you are looking better". That meant a lot to me as he was always suspicious that I would not follow the doctor's advise to go slow and not strain myself. Sadly, that was the last conversation I had with him. Three days later he was gone!

A few days later, I decided to test my leg by participating in the Calicut to Lakkidi (Wynad district) 55 kilometer cycling race for the third time. The race includes a steep 700 meter climb in the last 12 kilometers. I finished the race with the best ever timing. My leg had recovered and I have no hesitation to thank KK & Geeta for recommending the Hospital, specialist and more importantly taking charge of the entire hospitalisation process. After I finished the event, I broke down remembering him and my Father (whose death anniversary was on the day of the race). KK would have been very happy to note that I had recovered from the operation. It took me a while in that solitude amongst some serene scenes in Wynad, to gain some composure. Was overwhelming.

Krishnakumar was very proud of his family - Geeta & Akshay, his parents, brothers and their families. He took the initiative to visit all of them regularly and was always just a phone call away for every one. 

The medical fraternity, his patients and the communities he associated with will miss him dearly. His legacy of IMHANS - a strong institution that he built brick-by-brick will live on and grow from strength to strength.

Rumi is attributed to have penned this poem: 

"Discard yourself and thereby regain yourself. Spread the trap of humility and ensnare love."

I think this is quite apt for KK. In more ways than one. Krishnakumar was eternally optimistic, a perpetual learner. He had the ability to effortlessly interact with people regardless of class or creed. He never complained and had the gift of getting work done by doggedly pushing through in pursuit of what was best for IMHANS. He never lost his childlike curiosity, and the joy he could experience at the slightest of reasons. KK never let any constraint come in the way of his goals. His legacy will be unmatched for years to come.

Farewell Krishnakumar. Deep gratitude for who you were and how you shaped your world. Was a privilege knowing you.

In closing, I have been deeply affected by his passing. It has been hard. It has made me evaluate what I do and if I am really making any difference, in my life. If I do a fraction of what he had done in his life, it will alleviate the loss by a bit.